Quote by NorthyThere's that guy in
Jackass, I guess. He's literally the only one in Jackass that makes me turn away
from the screen with some of his antics.
I'm sure the ladies appreciate him, though.
I'm not sure what his antics are, but... I don't watch Jackass, it just disgusts
me.
@shoujoboy: Forgive my misunderstanding, it was early in the morning and I
wasn't even fully awake
Quote by NorthyWell, you weren't the one
who had an issue with mistrust in guys (despite the fact that he valued honesty
enough to actually tell her he had been dancing with a stripper even though he
knew it would probably get him into a spot of trouble with her), so my comment
weren't as much directed at you as her. Granted, the "do you girls think
you are any better" line might have lead you to believe this, but that one
was more of a general comment against the irritatingly pervasive idea that only
men are unfaithful (in all the different incarnations and gradients of
unfaithfulness) and also lie about it with no remorse.
Anyway, let's sum up: You set your standards about this. Fair enough. I set
mine. Also fair enough. Sharptool's boyfriend actually told her that he had been dancing with strippers,
which made her angry according to HER standards. Fair enough as well. He also
told her that nothing else happened. She didn't believe him. And THAT is where
the fairness ends, and the leash, as I put it,
begins.
Ah, in that case, I apologize for the misunderstanding. I just thought your
comment was directed at me because I had also talked about guys' unfaithfulness.
In any case, I don't usually have the ideas that guys are bad and girls are
better. If I gave a negative image of someone else, it's because I don't know
the other person and it's just my paranoia speaking. And now that I reread what
I previously wrote, yeah, that was more my paranoia speaking. Like I said, I
can't give a real answer about this issue since, first, I'm not in the
situation, and second, I don't even have a boyfriend.
I admit, it was very honest of sharptool's boyfriend (not to mention brave as
well) to tell her. I don't know him to know whether to believe him or no, so he
could be a really nice guy or the opposite. However, sharptool should know him
well enough, so she should know whether to believe him or no. I think neither
you nor I should tell her to believe him or no, but advise her to give it a
second thought before deciding anything.
In any case, whether she believes him or no, she should talk to him about it,
tell him that it angered her (if she didn't tell him already).
I'm not saying people should be kept on a leash. My definition of faithfulness
might differ than yours, but neither mine nor yours is right (or
wrong).
And no, I don't think I'm any better. And I don't think all guys are compulsive
liars. I'm just putting out the possibilities.
Hmm.. I don't know if I'm in the position to answer you, as I don't have a
boyfriend, so I can't exactly tell you how I'd feel and what I'd do. And even if
I could, I don't think you should do the same; I'd be just telling you my point
of view, just for you to consider it, not to take it and hold onto it as if it's
the only way. Um, anyways. That was just a lil' intro before I answer your
question
So, if I had a boyfriend and he told me he danced with a stripper while on
vacation... I'd be pretty pissed off at him, that's for sure. From one side, I
can sort of understand how he feels about the offer he got. But understanding
doesn't mean he's justified. But anyways, if that were to happen, I'd try
talking to him first; try to fully understand why he did this. If he tells me
something like he just wanted to do it and will most likely do it again (and he
doesn't care whether I know or not that he went and danced with a stripper), I'd
definitely break up with him, because I personally consider it cheating. He says
he just danced with her, but who really knows? Besides, the first time he
danced, the second time might be more.
However, if he told me he went and danced with a stripper in a confession of
sort, then I'd take it he gave in to temptation and might feel a bit guilty
about it. If so, then I'd forgive him and give him a second chance. If it
happens again, though, yeah, he's probably not going to be faithful. Again, I'm
not exactly in the position to give a real answer, since I don't even have a
boyfriend to begin with.
One last thing, though. Some other women might not consider this cheating. It
all relies on what you feel about it, and I think you should do what your heart
tells you (excuse the corny expression), even if others tell you it's not the
"right" decision. Personally, I don't think there's really a
"right" and "wrong" decision (unless they're radical
decisions, like killing or something - yeah, that's just plain wrong); it's all
about what you feel is "right" and "wrong"... what your
heart tells you.
It depends on the anime, really. I think it's better if you pick a certain anime
and look for wallpapers in it, rather than general categories. It'd make it
easier for you to find what you're looking for.
I like the Angry Girl one, even if it looks a bit like your usual style The
Environment one reminds me of another drawing you did... I think it was a LoZ
fanart, possibly TP... *rusty memory* lol
Oooh, you MUST do a larger syze of Rito Link! It just looks really pretty
Well, my parents would never get why I like anime (they don't like anime,
especially not my father, he'll think it's for kids since it's cartoonish), but
I remember watching Princess Mononoke with my aunt. I know that's not a serie,
but hey, it's still anime
Well, it wasn't exactly what I meant to say; apologies for not making my point
clearly (or in that case, phrasing it differently). I actually do wanted to get
a viewpoint rather than be told what to do, but when I wrote that, I wasn't
thinking clearly (not that this is an excuse); again, apologies about that. And
even though there's a difference between the two situations, I still didn't ask
so that the bad feelings (in case of a negative outcome) would be lessened. I'm
not that sort of person, and I'm not even capable of feeling what you
described.
Yes, I'm aware of that, but thank you for reminding me, anyway.
It's okay that you ask questions about it, it'll have me think about the whole
situation anyway. And yeah, I do plan on meeting him one day, if things work out
now.
I wasn't really expecting anyone to care about my situation; it's not care I was
looking for, anyway. Just a viewpoint, which is what you gave me now. So,
thanks, Northy. Your blunt honesty is much appreciated, really (I'm not being
sarcastic or anything).
@Northy: I believe you got me wrong; maybe I gave that impression, but I didn't
mean to. I'm certainly not the kind to blame others for my actions; I take full
responsibility of what I do, be it good or bad. I may seem to have a good grasp
of the situation and all, but I'm only asking for advice because anyone in my
situation could have their judgement and reason clouded, so what I think would
be reasonable might in reality be stupid. And I also didn't mean to make my
infatuation comment to sound this way; it's just that, people who are against
online relationships would say "it's just a crush and it can't be real
love" and all that jazz, so I was just proving that it wasn't an
infatuation, it's really love. I don't mind infatuations or physical
attractions, btw, I don't think any sort of attraction is better than another.
Maybe I should have made this point more clearly, but I'm not waiting to hear a
bunch of "go for it", I'm only wanting to hear whether what I'm saying
is logical and reasonable or just plain stupid, or if I'm missing something. And
this is where I'd like to thank kuroimisa.
kuroimisa, thank you very much. You've given me a perspective that I didn't see
before: if our friendship does break when I confess and he doesn't return my
feelings, then maybe he wasn't worth it after all. It's an excellent point you
made. Again, thank you.
@Bizarre: Yeah, I've heard this one before, though it didn't come to mind at
that moment... thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
Before I start telling you the situation, I'd like to say to all those who are
against/do not believe in online relationships/the possibility to fall in love
with someone online, please don't read any further. I don't want to deal with
people saying I'm stupid for feeling this and that for someone I met online.
This is a very serious matter and I'd like to get some advice on what to do, so
if you're not okay with this type of relationship (you find it stupid, for
example), then please don't read any further, nor reply to this thread.
Now, onto my story.
For almost three years now, I've been frequenting a small forum where about 10
other members go to. We're a small community of people that form a
family.
For all this while, I've been friends with everyone. Including a certain
someone. I didn't feel anything for that certain someone back then but then
again we weren't really close friends. Just normal friends.
A few months ago, though... Around july, I believe... the forum was going
through a bit of trouble because of a few troublesome members, and for some
reason, in this turmoil, he and I started talking more often. Our conversations
at the beginning were about the troublesome members. But then we started
chatting about anything and everything. And we became closer.
I considered him a good friend at that moment. Still nothing felt for him. But
then...
The more we talked, the closer we became as friends... and the more I fell in
love with him.
And right now, ever since around august, I felt myself very much in love with
him. Sure, it might feel blissfully sweet, but at the same time I'm being
tormented. Tormented by the thought, "where is this going?"
I've had several infatuations in the past. And I am certain this is not an
infatuation. As you can see, I didn't like him from the very first time I met
him; in fact, I knew him for several years, and even after starting to chat with
him more often and becoming close to him, I didn't fall in love with him
immediately; so I believe that this is sincere love, and not an
infatuation.
But what can I do about this love? I've so many obstacles in front of me. I know
for certain that he doesn't have a girlfriend, so that's not my obstacle; my
obstacles are: Is he okay with long-distance relationships? Does he even feel
anything for me? And if he does, does he want to make something out of
it?
Personally, I'm too afraid to tell him. Too afraid that, if I confess my love
for him, and he doesn't feel the same way, then things will become awkward
between us and we become distant from each other and our friendship gets
destroyed on the long run. This isn't a situation unheard of, after all. I'm not
afraid of bearing the pain of unrequited love; I'm afraid of losing him even as
a friend. So, if my silence preserves our friendship, then I'd rather remain
quiet.
But what if he does feel something for
me? If he does, then there are chances things will work out. Problem is, it's a
huge risk to take, and I'm not sure I want to take it if the consequences can be
"destructive".
Thing is, I don't know if he feels anything for me or no. He doesn't seem to,
but sometimes... I don't know why, but sometimes it seems as if he does love me,
too. Like once... he compared me to a saint. And it was sincerely said. A saint!
That's not a compliment you say to just anyone, do you? But this can't be taken
as proof, for there are many ways he might have said it; could it have been said
sincerely and honestly, like how a child says things as they are? Or did he say
it with a hint of admiration, the sort you'd hold for someone you love?
I don't know what to do. I'd like to know what he feels for me, but I can't find
out about that unless I ask directly. A friend of mine told me that I could
confess to him my feelings, and say that I am not waiting anything in return, I
am just telling him so as to be sincere to him, and to take this out of my
chest. But I honestly don't know what to do; I'm afraid doing so would ruin our
friendship, as I explained before. Yet, there's no solution that's
risk-free.
So what do you advise me to do?
This is quite a long post, and I apologize for taking a lot of your time so you
could read this. But, if you've been reading until now, then thanks for hearing
me out, and for those who are going to reply, thanks in advance for your help.
I've got so many male best friends And I
don't feel anything towards them that's beyond friendship. It's possible for two
people of opposite genders to be friends, and only friends; just because two
people are of the opposite sex and go along well doesn't mean they'll HAVE to be
attracted to each other.
There is one guy whom I'm friends with and whom I'm secretly in love with, but
that's just one guy out of... um... *counts*... 5... 6... *loses counts* I don't
know! 1 out of many
Yes, I've got many, many male friends, and not many female ones. I think it's
because guys are usually less drama queens than girls tend to be. I've had many
female friends, too, but so many of the friendship broke up because a big fuss
happened out of nothing. That still didn't happen with me and any of my male
friends.
I'm not sure what his antics are, but... I don't watch Jackass, it just disgusts me.
@shoujoboy: Forgive my misunderstanding, it was early in the morning and I wasn't even fully awake
I'm not sure whether to treat this as a joke or serious...
Haha, yeah, I've never heard of male whores... except for gay ones, that is.
You sure there aren't male whorehouses?
... And what if she turns out to be bisexual?
Ah, in that case, I apologize for the misunderstanding. I just thought your comment was directed at me because I had also talked about guys' unfaithfulness. In any case, I don't usually have the ideas that guys are bad and girls are better. If I gave a negative image of someone else, it's because I don't know the other person and it's just my paranoia speaking. And now that I reread what I previously wrote, yeah, that was more my paranoia speaking. Like I said, I can't give a real answer about this issue since, first, I'm not in the situation, and second, I don't even have a boyfriend.
I admit, it was very honest of sharptool's boyfriend (not to mention brave as well) to tell her. I don't know him to know whether to believe him or no, so he could be a really nice guy or the opposite. However, sharptool should know him well enough, so she should know whether to believe him or no. I think neither you nor I should tell her to believe him or no, but advise her to give it a second thought before deciding anything.
In any case, whether she believes him or no, she should talk to him about it, tell him that it angered her (if she didn't tell him already).
I'm not saying people should be kept on a leash. My definition of faithfulness might differ than yours, but neither mine nor yours is right (or wrong).
And no, I don't think I'm any better. And I don't think all guys are compulsive liars. I'm just putting out the possibilities.
No matter. I'm not here to justify myself.
Hmm.. I don't know if I'm in the position to answer you, as I don't have a boyfriend, so I can't exactly tell you how I'd feel and what I'd do. And even if I could, I don't think you should do the same; I'd be just telling you my point of view, just for you to consider it, not to take it and hold onto it as if it's the only way. Um, anyways. That was just a lil' intro before I answer your question
So, if I had a boyfriend and he told me he danced with a stripper while on vacation... I'd be pretty pissed off at him, that's for sure. From one side, I can sort of understand how he feels about the offer he got. But understanding doesn't mean he's justified. But anyways, if that were to happen, I'd try talking to him first; try to fully understand why he did this. If he tells me something like he just wanted to do it and will most likely do it again (and he doesn't care whether I know or not that he went and danced with a stripper), I'd definitely break up with him, because I personally consider it cheating. He says he just danced with her, but who really knows? Besides, the first time he danced, the second time might be more.
However, if he told me he went and danced with a stripper in a confession of sort, then I'd take it he gave in to temptation and might feel a bit guilty about it. If so, then I'd forgive him and give him a second chance. If it happens again, though, yeah, he's probably not going to be faithful. Again, I'm not exactly in the position to give a real answer, since I don't even have a boyfriend to begin with.
One last thing, though. Some other women might not consider this cheating. It all relies on what you feel about it, and I think you should do what your heart tells you (excuse the corny expression), even if others tell you it's not the "right" decision. Personally, I don't think there's really a "right" and "wrong" decision (unless they're radical decisions, like killing or something - yeah, that's just plain wrong); it's all about what you feel is "right" and "wrong"... what your heart tells you.
w00t! I can't wait! Maybe you could then put them all together and make a wallpaper... You know, just to bless my computer screen <3 lol
Say, DT, since it was deleted from the galleries... does that mean you won't vector the other band members?
Well, yeah. It's Matt Bellamy's picture we're talking about here!
It depends on the anime, really. I think it's better if you pick a certain anime and look for wallpapers in it, rather than general categories. It'd make it easier for you to find what you're looking for.
Noooo! Why did it get deleted?! This is BLASPHEMOUS!
Hmm. I don't have a layout, so I don't mind being a beta-tester
I like the Angry Girl one, even if it looks a bit like your usual style
The
Environment one reminds me of another drawing you did... I think it was a LoZ
fanart, possibly TP... *rusty memory* lol
Oooh, you MUST do a larger syze of Rito Link! It just looks really pretty
You actually did all of those on the DS?
Well, my parents would never get why I like anime (they don't like anime, especially not my father, he'll think it's for kids since it's cartoonish), but I remember watching Princess Mononoke with my aunt. I know that's not a serie, but hey, it's still anime
One should never expect less from Lady-Lotus
Thanks
for the share!
That's because I don't mind blunt honesty at all, as I tend to speak this way when asked for advice :P
And what little you did is more than good enough for me. Thank you very much
Well, it wasn't exactly what I meant to say; apologies for not making my point clearly (or in that case, phrasing it differently). I actually do wanted to get a viewpoint rather than be told what to do, but when I wrote that, I wasn't thinking clearly (not that this is an excuse); again, apologies about that. And even though there's a difference between the two situations, I still didn't ask so that the bad feelings (in case of a negative outcome) would be lessened. I'm not that sort of person, and I'm not even capable of feeling what you described.
Yes, I'm aware of that, but thank you for reminding me, anyway.
It's okay that you ask questions about it, it'll have me think about the whole situation anyway. And yeah, I do plan on meeting him one day, if things work out now.
I wasn't really expecting anyone to care about my situation; it's not care I was looking for, anyway. Just a viewpoint, which is what you gave me now. So, thanks, Northy. Your blunt honesty is much appreciated, really (I'm not being sarcastic or anything).
@Northy: I believe you got me wrong; maybe I gave that impression, but I didn't mean to. I'm certainly not the kind to blame others for my actions; I take full responsibility of what I do, be it good or bad. I may seem to have a good grasp of the situation and all, but I'm only asking for advice because anyone in my situation could have their judgement and reason clouded, so what I think would be reasonable might in reality be stupid. And I also didn't mean to make my infatuation comment to sound this way; it's just that, people who are against online relationships would say "it's just a crush and it can't be real love" and all that jazz, so I was just proving that it wasn't an infatuation, it's really love. I don't mind infatuations or physical attractions, btw, I don't think any sort of attraction is better than another.
Maybe I should have made this point more clearly, but I'm not waiting to hear a bunch of "go for it", I'm only wanting to hear whether what I'm saying is logical and reasonable or just plain stupid, or if I'm missing something. And this is where I'd like to thank kuroimisa.
kuroimisa, thank you very much. You've given me a perspective that I didn't see before: if our friendship does break when I confess and he doesn't return my feelings, then maybe he wasn't worth it after all. It's an excellent point you made. Again, thank you.
@Bizarre: Yeah, I've heard this one before, though it didn't come to mind at that moment... thanks. I'll keep that in mind.
Before I start telling you the situation, I'd like to say to all those who are against/do not believe in online relationships/the possibility to fall in love with someone online, please don't read any further. I don't want to deal with people saying I'm stupid for feeling this and that for someone I met online. This is a very serious matter and I'd like to get some advice on what to do, so if you're not okay with this type of relationship (you find it stupid, for example), then please don't read any further, nor reply to this thread.
Now, onto my story.
For almost three years now, I've been frequenting a small forum where about 10 other members go to. We're a small community of people that form a family.
For all this while, I've been friends with everyone. Including a certain someone. I didn't feel anything for that certain someone back then but then again we weren't really close friends. Just normal friends.
A few months ago, though... Around july, I believe... the forum was going through a bit of trouble because of a few troublesome members, and for some reason, in this turmoil, he and I started talking more often. Our conversations at the beginning were about the troublesome members. But then we started chatting about anything and everything. And we became closer.
I considered him a good friend at that moment. Still nothing felt for him. But then...
The more we talked, the closer we became as friends... and the more I fell in love with him.
And right now, ever since around august, I felt myself very much in love with him. Sure, it might feel blissfully sweet, but at the same time I'm being tormented. Tormented by the thought, "where is this going?"
I've had several infatuations in the past. And I am certain this is not an infatuation. As you can see, I didn't like him from the very first time I met him; in fact, I knew him for several years, and even after starting to chat with him more often and becoming close to him, I didn't fall in love with him immediately; so I believe that this is sincere love, and not an infatuation.
But what can I do about this love? I've so many obstacles in front of me. I know for certain that he doesn't have a girlfriend, so that's not my obstacle; my obstacles are: Is he okay with long-distance relationships? Does he even feel anything for me? And if he does, does he want to make something out of it?
Personally, I'm too afraid to tell him. Too afraid that, if I confess my love for him, and he doesn't feel the same way, then things will become awkward between us and we become distant from each other and our friendship gets destroyed on the long run. This isn't a situation unheard of, after all. I'm not afraid of bearing the pain of unrequited love; I'm afraid of losing him even as a friend. So, if my silence preserves our friendship, then I'd rather remain quiet.
But what if he does feel something for me? If he does, then there are chances things will work out. Problem is, it's a huge risk to take, and I'm not sure I want to take it if the consequences can be "destructive".
Thing is, I don't know if he feels anything for me or no. He doesn't seem to, but sometimes... I don't know why, but sometimes it seems as if he does love me, too. Like once... he compared me to a saint. And it was sincerely said. A saint! That's not a compliment you say to just anyone, do you? But this can't be taken as proof, for there are many ways he might have said it; could it have been said sincerely and honestly, like how a child says things as they are? Or did he say it with a hint of admiration, the sort you'd hold for someone you love?
I don't know what to do. I'd like to know what he feels for me, but I can't find out about that unless I ask directly. A friend of mine told me that I could confess to him my feelings, and say that I am not waiting anything in return, I am just telling him so as to be sincere to him, and to take this out of my chest. But I honestly don't know what to do; I'm afraid doing so would ruin our friendship, as I explained before. Yet, there's no solution that's risk-free.
So what do you advise me to do?
This is quite a long post, and I apologize for taking a lot of your time so you could read this. But, if you've been reading until now, then thanks for hearing me out, and for those who are going to reply, thanks in advance for your help.
Personally I don't mind at all. Whatever you decide is fine by me
@aqi: I think so
I've got so many male best friends
And I
don't feel anything towards them that's beyond friendship. It's possible for two
people of opposite genders to be friends, and only friends; just because two
people are of the opposite sex and go along well doesn't mean they'll HAVE to be
attracted to each other.
There is one guy whom I'm friends with and whom I'm secretly in love with, but that's just one guy out of... um... *counts*... 5... 6... *loses counts* I don't know! 1 out of many
Yes, I've got many, many male friends, and not many female ones. I think it's because guys are usually less drama queens than girls tend to be. I've had many female friends, too, but so many of the friendship broke up because a big fuss happened out of nothing. That still didn't happen with me and any of my male friends.
Killing Kindred? That is very interesting...